Dear, ‘Who the Fuck Does That?’

Started a new job recently. Yay me. Finally doing important things. Well… I’ve always done important things but now I’m moving out and paying all the bills. So, in my parents eyes I’m a full grown adult.

Great.

But the best part is seeing that some adults who seem to be adulting better than I am, are  really still kids inside. And by kids – I mean I feel like I’m in a high school drama at times.

For example:

So you all know that obesity is a huge problem in life. That’s great. Too many candy bars or ice cream scoops, etc (whoever decided that 1/2 a cup of ice cream is a serving wanted to watch the world burn). But when you get those little bars, the individual ones, it’s hard to count how many you eat. And like potato chips, you don’t just eat one. Unless you’re weird or there was only two left and you’d feel terrible about eating the last one.

Fuck that. I need my chocolate (white chocolate is the best and no I’m not referring to something else).

You just pop them in, suck on em, chew em, let ’em melt on your tongue, whatever. But apparently, some people take bites. Are you freaking kidding me??? I understand that you’d take a bite out of a candy bar but not the little ones. Seriously, who the fuck does that?? (I amend that statement. Apparently a lot of people take bites out of them. But they’ll end up eating the entire thing).

And when I ask why… The answer I get??

“oh, I don’t eat much.”

Bitch what? If you were watching calories, you shouldn’t have eaten one at all. If that’s really how you eat, maybe you should try the air diet. No seriously, it’s a thing.

The worse part? She actually wrapped up half of it and took it with her. The same way I wrap up a cooler of food from my parents.

Like maybe she’ll eat the rest for lunch…

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