Dear Stupid Customers

Guest walks up to the counter and asks for two tickets.

Me – “The total is ______.”

“Is the price negotiable?” I thought she was joking. So I didn’t answer her. “Like, can we get the senior discount day today?”

“Uh… no.” Was she serious? And she was. They both were.

“Someone once told me that everything in life was negotiable.”

“Oh, ok.”

“That’d probably take all afternoon though.” She was referring to calling a manager, hassling for lower prices, and eventually making a lot of angry, pissed off people give her what she wanted (or not).

“Your total is___________.” They still paid full price.

Yes, the movies are expensive. Yes, they’re more expensive then they used to be. Yes, you remember a time when tickets were less than ten dollars. That’s great, I don’t care. I can’t change the price and I can do nothing for you except sell you tickets. Don’t haggle prices with me. This isn’t a thrift store or a mom and pop shop where I (or someone I know) can lower the price based on your ability to pay. Come to the theater knowing that you’re paying a crap load for a movie that is probably going to be terrible, over priced popcorn, and a gallon of soda that’ll have you running back and forth to the bathroom if you’re stupid enough to drink it all.

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