Dear People with Retarded Signs

I’ve seen some pretty dumb signs like – The Fight Club (it’s for boxing or something like that).

Like really? There’s one rule – not to talk about fight club. And you posted it on a fucking sign on the highway so that everyone can see it. Someone needs to be fired.

But there’s another kind of stupid – Almost a Farm. It was written on those cute wood backgrounds that hang from those vintage mailboxes. The lettering was written in a curve and small house picture was just above it.

My reaction? What the heck?? Is that supposed to be romantic? Did you finally almost reach your dream?

It’s like saying I’m almost a woman, or I’m almost there, or I’m almost done.

But you’re not. And almost isn’t good enough.

Do you sell almost eggs, almost butter (the alternative to I can’t believe it’s not butter?), and almost cheese?

What the fuck is almost a farm? And why the heck would place a sign to display it?

Hell, I can do it too.

I’ll post a sign, “Almost a Dr.”

And when you ask for details, I’ll tell you that one day I dream of being a doctor and that I’ve almost done a few surgeries.

But no, I haven’t been to medical school nor have I taken the MCATs.

Why the fuck would you ask me that?

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