Dear People Who Decorate Their Houses… Laws… Pets… Everything

It’s not a contest. During the holiday season is not the time to show off how many you lights you own (it’s blinding and ugly). You think letting your Christmas decorations explode on your front lawn is displaying holiday cheer. It’s  not. In fact, it portrays a very different picture – you have absolutely no self-control or taste.

And how much time did you spend throwing that shit on your grass? One manger scene or a few elves. Maybe a Santa Claus and a snowman (not all of them!!). Maybe even a few candy canes or a reindeer or two (what the heck is with candy canes anyway??)

But all that? Actually, you have to be come kind of fucking genius to so crappily put that together. You are the highlight of my Christmas – to see how crappy your lawn can actually get.

You may think it’s a way to show off how much money you’ve got this time of year. Or maybe you’re making up for the entire neighborhood in what you call class. 

But – this maybe news to you – a slightly a larger house, only a few lights wrapped around the pillars and railings, throw in a wreath on the door, will do the same trick in a much classier way.


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