Movies I’ve Missed

I”m not going to sit here and backtrack every movie that I haven’t reviewed since I’ve been absent. Why? Because that’s a tedious task and I don’t want to do it.

The real reason is because I can’t remember most of them which usually means that a good chunk were absolutely terrible. It’s not that I have a terrible memory. It’s that I have a selective memory which generally makes me a very happy go-lucky person with thoughts of unicorns and rainbows.

That being said, i will list the movies that I’ve checked out of the months, give it a simple rating and a one or two sentence, yes/no. Most are out on dvd and you’ve already seen them but hey, I like to write. You can’t stop.

Here it goes. Full movie reviews are available if you click on the movie title. If they’re not clickable then I didn’t find a review I like. 😛

13 Hours (9) – Heck yes. While I’m not into politics and have little to no understanding of how the country runs, I do know a good movie when I see one. Had no idea this was Clinton’s messup (why is she still running for president? Why is any one still running for president?). Besides that, great acting, effects, etc. Really interesting story that I then decided to read up on.

Ride Along 2 (3?) – I guess. The first one was funny, kinda new. Hart can be hilarious and other times his comedy is overused. Like in this movie. Not really funny and kind of a drag towards the end. If you need harmless fun and have nothing better to do, this a great way to waste time. Or you know, you could go outside. To the beach. Amusement park. Anything else, really.

5th Wave (2) – Based on a book. Got it. Don’t care. Stupid movie. Stupid? I meant terrible. You’re running from aliens. Oh no! That sucks. And apparently only kids can survive. So… your parents are killed. Damn. And you missed your bus. Your brother didn’t. Now you’re running to find him and to stay away from the aliens. But alas, you find a hot guy whom you sleep with. Oh man, he’s an alien. That sucks. Let me ditch you and go back to trying to rescue my brother. You find your brother. Oh no, this is a setup. This sucks more. Oo, but my brother and high school crush are still alive? Yay! Oh but the hot alien is back. Let’s tongue it out in front of my crush. Oh, it’s totally cool. The alien is going to save us. So you run with your crush and brother and the alien saves you all. Kinda happy ending, I guess. But you did just suck face with an alien. Do I need to provide additional comments or do you get the general picture of why I didn’t particularly like the movie?

Kung Fu Panda (6) – Family fun. You can be whoever you are and still be the hero of the story. About finding who you are and your family and loving every bit of it. Fun enough. I still think the series is overdone.

Hail Caesar (4) – Can we not talk about this movie? I’m not really sure what was going on so let’s just leave it like that.

The Choice (6/7) – As far as Nick Sparks movies go, this one was a sweet story about betrayal, lust, and inability to forgive. No seriously. She falls in love with another guy while her fiance is away. Then she dumps the guy when the fiance returns. Then she’s like, oh man, I really liked the guy. So she dumps the fiance and runs back to the man. They get married, have kids, and then she’s in a coma. Now the guy is devastated and the fiance (the doctor at the hospital – weird) is telling him that it’s not his fault. And then the happily ever after… etc. Still thought it was a sweet movie though.

How to be Single (4) – Not a fan. Probably because i don’t like women sleeping around everywhere. And also because I can understand being independent but this movie tackled that problem rather… strangely.

Deadpool (7.5) – Not a comic book fan. But, movie was hilarious for those who don’t mind some crude humor (okay a lot). Gory and some good one liners. Not a movie to watch with your parents unless you’re ready to have the talk. Or the talk that deals with your taste in life choices.

Risen (5) – Great start to the perspective from someone other than a Christian. But…. not accurate as time went on. And the acting was a little shoddy.

God’s of Egypt (3) – Uh no? I’d stick to the other recent fun movies that came out. This one was a little lame….

Eddie the Eagle (8) – Heartwarming story based on true events. I really liked the way that Egerton portrayed the guy (can’t wait for Kingsmen 2!!). Either way, Jackman and Egerton portrayed a rag team very well. And it was enjoyable to watch. Could be a family movie. Some slow parts though.

Zootopia (6) – Apparently, I didn’t understand all the underlying comments throughout the movie. But I do know that this was one of the few movies that wasn’t heavily ridden with innuendos. Instead there was a whole lot of political jargon. Sure, kids movie. But not really. Honestly, I just want a kids movie that’s more or less innocent and free of the adult world. Ya know, like we used to get – those Disney movies with the princesses. Okay, so there were still a lot of  innuendos. But they were still enjoyable and I didn’t have a problem with kids watching them (to an extent)

Divergent (4/5) – Too long. Don’t care. And really getting tired of how stubborn the girl is. You fell in love with the guy who rescued you. Sure, cool. But now you’re so wishy washy. You’re like, I’ve got to save everyone. Let me help this guy who is going to help us all. What do you mean he’s out to get us? No, I don’t think so. Oh man, you were right! Let’s fight him. Like, really? And apparently there’s still another movie or two in the works. Give it up already. But they won’t. Hollywood isn’t out to make great movies like they used. No, we live in a money world. And sadly, it doesn’t grow on trees.

Batman/Superman (4/5) – Not a big fan actually. I don’t like Cavill as Superman (still a pretty good actor in anything else) and Affleck I don’t like in general as an actor. Seemed kind of lame between the two of them and Superman’s girlfriend? Seems like a wash over. Their fight was lame. Especially with the whole Martha situation. Seriously? And then Wonder woman. What the heck is going on? Sure, you’re making movies based off of comics. But what about the large group of people who don’t read the comics. I have no idea what’s going on or why she’s here. Justice League? That sounds great… I guess.

Jungle Book (8) – Finally a movie that didn’t ruin my childhood. Done well and good lord, I had no idea some of those animals are so creepy looking in real life. If your kid gets scared easily, wait till they’re a little older. Otherwise, watch it.

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