We’re Not Stupid (Not Entirely)

Ok, I get it. You really, really, really (did I emphasize that enough?) really want to see that new movie. But you have a problem. It’s rated R and you’re under 17. Bummer. Tough luck. Go away. See, part of our job is to catch people like you. The people that will get our theater in trouble and either shut us down or have the government start running the entertainment business (they probably already do).

If you don’t have an ID, we won’t let you in (we let it slide sometimes if you look older than 25…) If you’re going with friends but no one is older than 21 and one person doesn’t have an ID or is under 17, we’re not letting you in either. See, while you miss out on a movie that everyone else is seeing, we get fired. Terminated. Canned.

I bet you didn’t think about that. Next time you decide that you want to get mad at us for not letting you in to that new movie coming out that’s all the hype, remember that you’ll cost us our job if we let you in without an ID. Suck it up and either wait till you’re old enough or come back with someone 21 or older.

Don’t tell me that you look 17. Don’t ask if you can call your mom to tell me how old you are. Don’t tell me that I should be able to let it slide just this once. Don’t give the sob story that you took a half hour drive without your ID either (that’s illegal by the way).

I won’t let you in. Besides being fired, the government will start enforcing the ratings with fines and imprisonment. I bet you don’t want that either. SO…

No ID? No ticket. No exceptions.

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